Best Friends

Best Friends.

When you read those words, what comes to mind?

A confidant with whom you can share your inner most thoughts who doesn't judge you but appreciates your point of view.

Someone who stands up for you when another criticizes.

The source of the beautiful smile that brightens your day.

One who affirms you and appreciates your terrific qualities but doesn't condemn you for the ones that are not so terrific.

Someone you just love to go shopping with who always knows what really looks good on you.

The person who knows all your favorites and can sometimes finish your sentences.

One who trusts you to keep a secret and knows how well you will really understand her struggles.

The person who stands by you when you are in your darkest moments, no matter what.

If you have a person in your life who reflects these qualities, you probably thought of them after the first line. You might even have had a fun or poignant memory surface that you treasure. Perhaps you thought about something funny they said that you knew you would laugh about later, prompting a chuckle.

Best Friends leave a mark on our lives that is indelible. Each one carries a star quality that no one else has; you appreciate their uniqueness. They bring out nuances in you no one else does.

And it's mutual: Respect. Care. Love. Faithfulness. Appreciation. Kindness. Laughter.

When that friendship comes to an end for whatever reason, it changes you. It marks you for life. Because that friend who you truly valued added a dimension to your life that you won't forget. It will always live in your memory.

Friendship is a vital part of our lives. It's something that cannot be taken for granted. Especially when you know it may not last forever.

There is a time and place for people, for friends, in your life. Some stick around for years, to the point where you can't remember what life was like without them. Some stick around for just a short time because whatever their purpose was in your life has concluded.

When it's time to say goodbye, it is often unexpected. Sometimes it's due to a move to another city, and you simply lose touch.

Or issues arise that cannot be remedied, and they become a barrier to the friendship you have created; and when it ends, it leaves a scar. It pains you to let it go.

And you wonder how you'll go on without their dimension in your life.

People always have a purpose in our lives. When we understand that, it is easier to look back, appreciate all we experienced and learned, and then Move On. No, it isn't easy. Sometimes it can break your heart.

But a broken heart can be mended, made whole. And a new, vitally important person will enter your life, with a multi-dimensional purpose to help you grow from where you are right now.

This can be one of the most complicated areas of our lives to understand. But when time is taken to assimilate where we are in our friendships and where we would like to go, we will have a clearer perspective on what is and isn't working.

Then we'll see the good in all of it. And embrace whatever change in necessary or unavoidable. We're then ready to move on and become the person we are meant to be as a result of that friendship.

If you feel you need to step out of a person's life because you are no longer on the same page, please do it gently, kindly, and with compassion. Otherwise, it can leave a injurious scar that may take many years to heal.

And if you know someone who is hurting because a Best Friend has rejected them and said hurtful things, embrace that one and let them know how valuable and important they are, so they know they are not alone.

Because you may have been or may be there yourself.
And to have a friend is to be a friend.

That's what friends are for.
What kind of friend are you?

© 2010 by Dawn Herring