Thursday, March 31, 2011

Validation

A friend remarked the other day that she noticed how easily we can get upset over the littlest things. These conflicts are often small discrepancies, tiny annoyances that grab our attention.
When we look back hours, days, or even weeks later, we wonder why we even got upset in the first place.

But we have a hard time letting go of them. Whether they be with other people or even with ourselves.

Why is that?
What is it that we are hanging onto? What are we looking for when we get into these little scrapes?

Validation.

We want to be heard. We want to know that someone else believes that our point of view is worthy, that what we think is just as important as what they think.

We want to know someone cares about our value as people.

Often, instead we hear:
“Why are you making such an issue out of this?”
“You’re just being too sensitive.”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
“You’re acting like a child; why are you being so immature?”

There’s a clue right there of what we’re looking for. It’s the same feeling we had when we were children: we want to know that we matter. Instead of being shamed for what we think.

Relying on others to validate us can be a disappointing prospect. We don’t often get what we want. And even if we do, it can be fleeting.

Why is that? Because it’s not coming from within.

Yes, there are people in our lives who may verbally validate us when we least expect it, and these experiences can even change the course of our lives. But these occasions are few and far between, as much as they become gems to our memory and our emotions.

So, what can we do to increase the frequency of validation in our lives, especially when we come across these conflicts in our life experience?

We can validate ourselves. Yes, we can!

How do we go about doing that? There are several ways.

But before we can begin to validate ourselves, we have to dissect the conflict that has brought our need for validation to the surface.
We have to determine what caused it to get our attention so emphatically.

We have to honestly access the emotions we felt in the conflict to determine the root cause of the issue.
Several examples can include:
» fear,
» anxiety over the unknown,
» vulnerability which essentially feels like we’re out of control about something that could happen or how someone sees us,
» anger over feeling embarrassed because we thought we said something stupid, or
» jealousy over something we feel someone has over us.

Once we determine the root issue of the conflict, we can now turn toward validation.

There are three approaches we can take: verbal, mental, and written.

We can verbally speak validation, which essentially means saying that our opinion of that situation was valid, worth speaking, and worth listening to regardless of how another person may have responded. We can speak validation over each emotion we felt, and why we felt it. We can speak the good we know we have just being a person who is created with a divine spark!

We can speak this validation as often as a conflict rises in our minds since those thoughts can make us feel down about ourselves or angry at that other person we were in conflict with. It also helps for us to realize that the issue isn’t necessarily with the other person since the conflict comes from within. If we recognize this truth, we regain our power back instead of giving it to the other person. That’s part of the validation process: regaining our power!

Another way to validate ourselves is mentally. We can think the same validating thoughts that we verbalize. Awareness of our thoughts is necessary for the mental approach to be effective. So, pay attention to what you’re thinking!

The third way to validate ourselves is my favorite way which is in written form. This is where journal writing comes in handy. When we keep a daily journal or, at least, a conflict journal, we can use it to discern our emotions and then use it to validate them and ourselves. You may even want to try writing with your non-dominant hand when focusing on your emotions during the writing process. Once you’ve written your validation for the day, it should stay in your memory and focus, especially if you do it consistently. And the more you write it, say it, and think it, the more that validation becomes a part of you, a new you!

And it will eventually become apparent to others that you are self-validating since you will find yourself less combative and more confident, which is a powerful place to be in all of life’s dimensions.

Then, if you do receive a validation from another accurately discerning person, well, then that’s just icing on your life cake!

So next time you need some validation, speak, think, and write as you look within.
Then, you might even look up.
The Creator will validate you too. After all, you are made in the Creator’s image.
That’s a wonderfully beautiful, divine spark you have there.
Don’t be afraid to show it.

© 2011 by Dawn Herring

8 comments:

Ty Unglebower said...

I agree, especially since just an hour ago I was totally trashed by someone I respected and considered a friend.

I don't know if it was all me or not. On one hand I see what you mean about wanting to feel validated, and that if we validate ourselves, we don't need it from anyone else. Their words become less hurtful.

But on the other hand, if someone can treat our feelings and observations with such obvious condescending disdain, don't we at least owe it to ourselves to cut that person out of our lives, when possible? (As I just did.) Even if I get to the point where other people don't hurt me, should I really hold on to people that are so flippant with how they view me?

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

the tips you point out in this post are priceless. Thank you! We all have moments when we need to feel validated...and yes it HAS to come from US!

I am sorry to make a joke but my husband says that my favorite topic is ME...(that isn't true! lol) but...if he thinks that, I must be good at self validating! :)

Dawn Herring said...

Ty,
Thanks so much for sharing about your conflict with someone you thought was a friend. My heart goes out to you in the situation.

I did not cover the issue of dealing with toxic people in this post, but it is an extremely important, valid point. We have to be careful with who we spend our time with.

Spending time with folks who will treat you the way you want to be treated is essential to healthy relationships.

Thanks again for sharing, Ty. Your point of view is valued. :))

Be refreshed, Dawn

Dawn Herring said...

Caren,
So glad the points worked for you. :) I did get a kick out of your hubby's comment. ;)
Here's to self-validation! *clinks glass* :)

Be refreshed,
Dawn

Melwyk said...

I think you make an excellent point! We have to find that validation within, because it very often will not arrive externally. Did you know that the primary complaint in most workplaces is that people don't feel respected, appreciated or valued? Validation is what people desire! I enjoyed reading your view on this topic.

Dawn Herring said...

Melwyk,
Thanks so much for your comment! It's amazing how self-validation can accomplish what so many folks are lacking, even or especially in the work place. What a different atmosphere there would be if it was applied daily.

Be refreshed,
Dawn

Rachel said...

Wow, this is amazing. I just read your blog, but self-validation has been on my mind lately! Thank you for your messages :)

Dawn Herring said...

Rachel,
I'm so glad to know the Validation post was timely for you. Glad I can be of help! Thanks so much for leaving a comment!
Be refreshed,
Dawn

Popular Posts

Dawn's #JournalChat Favorite (formerly Pick of the Day)

You can now view Dawn's #JournalChat Favorites on my website: http://www.dawnherring.net/journalchat-pick-of-the-day.html

Wednesday's Pick (9/27) Dream Journaling Puts Your Dream Fairy Back to Work for You by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (9/24) Journal, Breathe, Dissolve by Cate Baily

Monday's Pick (9/23) How to Keep a Career Journal by Dolly Garland

Wednesday's Pick (9/18) How Journaling Makes Everything Better by Faith Watson

Tuesday's Pick (9/17) The Simple Way to Leave Your Stress at Work by Drake Baer

Monday's Pick (9/16) Why Did You Stop Journaling? by Jennifer Sikora

Wednesday's Pick (9/11) 21 Ways I Use My Notebook by Mike Swickey

Tuesday's Pick (9/10) 5 Reasons Why Journaling is the Ultimate Tool for Self-Development

Monday's Pick (9/9) Allowing Space by Daisy Ann Hickman

Wednesday's Pick (8/28) From Journal to Memoir by Sharon Lippincott

Tuesday's Pick (8/27) The Dark Side of Journaling by Leary Gates

Monday's Pick (8/26) The One Easy Daily Habit That Makes Life More Awesome by Laura Vanderkam

Wednesday's Pick (8/21) "What Should I Write in My Journal?" by Quinn McDonald

Tuesday's Pick (8/20) 7 Tips I Have Learned About Connecting with My Purpose for Writing My Memoir by Kathleen Pooler

Monday's Pick (8/19) Beyond Certainty by Daisy Ann Hickman

Wednesday's Pick (8/14) Making the Mind-Body Connection by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (8/13) Writing Prompts that Always Work by Christine Houser

Monday's Pick (8/12) What's Your Story by Debra DiPietro

Wednesday's Pick (8/7) 5 Reasons Journaling is a Life Changing Skill by Dolly Garland

Tuesday's Pick (8/6) A Two Step Journaling Process (for when you're feeling stuck or scared by Jill Winski

Monday's Pick (8/5) Blogging vs. Journaling by Diana Raab

Wednesday's Pick (7/31) Christian Journaling: Will Letters to God Overcome Resistance? by Thomas Freeman

Tuesday's Pick (7/30) Write It, Speak It, Just Try It by Michael Eric Frye

Monday's Pick (7/29) Pen to Paper: Soulful, Loving and Guilt Free Self-Care through Reflective Journaling by Lynda Monk

Wednesday's Pick (7/24) Voices in the City School by Dr. Julie Ann Connor

Tuesday's Pick (7/23) Start a Journaling Practice by Minette Riordan

Monday's Pick (7/22) Journal for Decisions Making by Mari McCarthy

Wednesday's Pick (7/17) Happy Beads by Juliet Platt

Tuesday's Pick (7/16) 360 Degree Journal Writing Tool by John Robson

Monday's Pick (7/15) Journal to the Center of Yourself by Jordan Rosenfeld

Wednesday's Pick (7/10) To Make Better Decisions, Map Them Out by Drake Baer

Tuesday's Pick (7/9) Comfort in Journaling by Susan Wilson

Monday's Pick (7/8) Don't Forget to Check Inside by Jill Winski

Wednesday's Pick (6/26) 5 Steps to Hot Summer Journaling by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (6/25) How Art Journaling Saved My Life (and what it can do for you) by Kristal Norton

Monday's Pick (6/24) Journaling Your Way to Personal Growth by Marquita Herald

Wednesday's Pick (6/19) What is the difference between an ordinary and an extraordinary day? by Debra DiPietro

Tuesday's Pick (6/18) Dear Diary: The Importance of Keeping a Journal by Victoria Herrera

Monday's Pick (6/17) Why You Need to Run a Timelog (and How To Do It) by Scott H. Young

Wednesday's Pick (6/12) Coach's Corner: Danielle's Journal by Kim Ades

Tuesday's Pick (6/11) Journaling to the Center: How Writing Encourages Insight and Healing by Douglas Mitchell

Monday's Pick (6/10) Journal Writing: 5 Smart Reasons Why YOU Should Start Doing It TODAY by Ericson Ay Mires

Wednesday's Pick (6/5) Writing for Your Children by Hugh Roberts

Tuesday's Pick (6/4) Art Journal Inspiration: Open Up Your Journal and Play by Tammy Garcia

Monday's Pick (6/3) Journaling Time: Let's Take a Fearless Inventory by Terri Cole

Friday's Pick (5/31) "Dear Journal" - Journaling Insights #2 by Juliet Platt

Wednesday's Pick (5/29) A Question of Privacy by Juliet Platt

Tuesday's Pick (5/28) Transformative Journal Writing by Janine VanderWhitte, LPC

Wednesday's Pick (5/22) Journaling: What I Learned About Tomorrow by Karen Samford

Tuesday's Pick (5/21) DIY Solo Retreat: Portrait of Self by Tina Bradley

Monday's Pick (5/20) Reflections on My Mother’s Circle of Love: A Memoir Moment by Kathleen Pooler


Wednesday's Pick (5/15) Creating the Space for Self-Exploration by Isabelle Rizo

Tuesday's Pick (5/14) Keeping a Journal Can Facilitate Good Writing by Sheila Bender

Monday's Pick (5/13) 10 Things You Should Write in Your Productivity Journal by Craig Jarrow

Friday's Pick (5/10) Write In Your Journal: Defrag Your Brain by Ruth Folit

Wednesday's Pick (5/8) Journaling: The Best Kept Secret for Staying in Shape by Karen Ficarelli


Tuesday's Pick (5/7) Journal Writing: Tweets for the Tweeps by Mari McCarthy

Monday's Pick (5/6) Six-Word Stories, Statements, and Exclamations: A Journaling Exercise by Eleanor Haley


Friday's Pick (5/3) Become an outrageous rock star – or write a journal by Juliet Platt

Tuesday's Pick (4/30) 12 New Ways to Get Your Journal On by Stephanie Seibel

Monday's Pick (4/29) Journaling Your Way to Discovery by Angela Wilkinson

Friday's Pick (4/26) Get More You Into Your Art Journal Pages by Tammy Garcia

Wednesday's Pick (4/24) How to Overcome Creative Blocks by Hannah Braime


Monday's Pick (4/22) Purposeful Pathway Biz Tip: Business Journaling by Caroline Gavin

Friday's Pick (4/19) Perfect Health: Journal Writing Your Way to a Better Body by Mari McCarthy

Wednesday's Pick (4/17) 5x5x5: The Simple Way to Achieve Your Big Hairy Audacious Goals by Hannah Braime


Tuesday's Pick (4/16) "If Only..." 3 Fun Journal Writing Prompts by Mari McCarthy

Monday's Pick (4/15) Inviting Silence by Daisy Ann Hickman

Friday's Pick (4/12) How Journal Writing Pushed Me Beyond My Limits by Joseph Bernard, Ph. D.


Wednesday's Pick (4/10) 4 Ways to Use Journaling to Calm Your Inner Critic by Hannah Braime

Tuesday's Pick (4/9) Kicking Fear to the Curb with Journaling by Jasmine Cianflone

Monday's Pick (4/8) Why Journal Writing is Soul Work by Lynda Monk

Friday's Pick (4/5) Continuous Reinvention=Blossoming Potentials by Tina Bradley

Wednesday's Pick (4/3) Write Into Your Pain by Amber Lea Starfire

Tuesday's Pick (4/2) Self Care Is NOT Selfish Care by Amy Frost

Friday's Pick (3/29) I Am sure of myself by Debra DiPietro

Wednesday's Pick (3/27) Speed Journaling: Get Your Self Unstuck Write Away by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (3/26) Journaling for Self-Care: The Healing Power of Writing by Lynda Monk

Monday's Pick (3/25) Emotional Vomit on the Page by Julie Luek

Friday's Pick (3/22) Thursday Q&A // Journaling by Sarah Danaher

Wednesday's Pick (3/20) Which Is Better: Inspiration or Influence? by Cynthia Morris

Tuesday's Pick (3/19) Behavior Modification for the Creative Soul by Quinn McDonald


Friday's Pick (3/15) 3 Tips to Attract Abundance by Bethany Butzer, Ph.d.

Wednesday's Pick (3/13) I AM These Thirteen Things by Debra DiPietro

Tuesday's Pick (3/12) Wings--Art Journal by Norma Gomez

Monday's Pick (3/11) Clarity Heals Suffering by Nathan Ohren

Friday's Pick (3/8) Journaling Techniques: Writing on the Stream of Consciousness by Amber Lea Starfire

Wednesday's Pick (3/6) The Many Health Benefits of Journal Writing by Beth Miller

Tuesday's Pick (3/5) Art Journal Tip: Meditate with a Mandala by Valerie Storey

Monday's Pick (3/4) Feed Yourself Images-It's Good for You by Jill Winski

Friday's Pick (3/1) Tossed Aside by Daisy Ann Hickman

Wednesday's Pick (2/27) How to Use and Create Masks with Mixed Media Collage by Erin Leigh

Tuesday's Pick (2/26) The Doodle as SoulStory by Kristen Radden

Monday's Pick (2/25) How Food Journaling Helped Me Become a More Intuitive Eater by Sean Devenport


Wednesday's Pick (2/20) Taking Action on What You Know by Jill Winski

Tuesday's Pick (2/19) Journal to Find Your Core Self by Mari McCarthy

Monday's Pick (2/18) 10 Journaling Tips to Help You Heal, Grow, and Thrive by Loran Hills

Wednesday's Pick (2/13) Want to Start Journaling? Write One Sentence Per Day by Chamonix Thurston-Rattue

Tuesday's Pick (2/12) The Best Kept Secret in the Business of Ideas! by Kerry Kilpatrick

Monday's Pick (2/11) The Benefits of Keeping a Work Journal by Madeline Stilley

Wednesday's Pick (2/6) Keeping a Cancer Journal: Your Private Healing Journey by Dr. Laurie Nadel

Tuesday's Pick (2/5) Journal to Memoir: Planting Seeds for Story by Kathleen Pooler

Friday's Pick (2/1) Write Your Way to Change in the New Year by Debra Marrs

Wednesday's Pick (1/30) 10 Famous Authors on the Importance of Keeping a Journal by Emily Temple

Monday's Pick (1/28) What Are You Committed To? by Debra DiPietro

Friday's Pick (1/25) What to Write in Your Fancy Schmancy Journal by Ian Duncan

Wednesday's Pick (1/23) How to Restart Your Journaling Habit by Nathan Ohren

Tuesday's Pick (1/22) Art Journaling: Eyes Like Rudolph's Nose by Julie Kirk

Monday's Pick (1/21) Keeping a Writer's Journal by Dolly Garland

Friday's Pick (1/18) Three Fun Journaling Techniques to Open Your Heart after Brain Injury by Barbara Stahura

Wednesday's Pick (1/16) Uniquely You by Rachel Thomasian


Monday's Pick (1/14) What Should I Write In My Journal by Dolly Garland

Friday's Pick (1/11) Keep a Daily Journaling Practice Forever by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (1/8) Blueprint for Daily Living by Terri Cole

Monday's Pick (1/7) Create the Life You Want- Start an Action Journal by Sherri Carter, MS

Friday's Pick (1/4) Preview 2013: Ten Journaling Questions to Help You Envision Your Ideal Life Next Year by Rosetta Thurman

Wednesday's Pick (1/2) Awakened Consciousness by Dr. Micheal Pearlman


Wednesday's Pick (12/19) Journaling by Rachel Thomasian

Tuesday's Pick (12/18) The Secret to Happiness and Productivity by Ken Makovsky

Monday's Pick (12/17) Journal Joy by Rebecca Jensen

Friday's Pick (12/14) 5 Steps to Achieving Your Goals (and creating the life you want) by Dolly Garland

Wednesday's Pick (12/12) Writing From Your Heart by Jacqui Malpass

Tuesday's Pick (12/11) Eleven ways to write away worry in a journal for a better night’s sleep by Debra DiPietro

Monday's Pick (12/10) Vulnerability and Courage by Quinn McDonald

Friday's Pick (12/7) 7 Astounding Benefits of Journal Writing by Juliet Platt

Wednesday's Pick (12/5) Make Travel Journaling Fun! by Jennifer Miller


Wednesday's Pick (11/28) Writing Tools: The Journal by Nutschell Windsor

Tuesday's Pick (11/27) 5 Ways to Jumpstart Your Journal Writing When the Words Won’t Flow by Adela Rubio

Monday's Pick (11/26) My Gratitude Journal Taught Me I am a Food-Obsessed, Greedy Cheater Who Still Loves Life by Jayleigh Lewis

Friday's Pick (11/16) Finding the Real You by Lynn Sambrano

Wednesday's Pick (11/14) Do You Aspire to Mediocrity? by Dolly Garland

Tuesday's Pick (11/13) Wouldn't It Be Interesting If...By Debra DiPietro

Friday's Pick (11/9) How Writing Saved My Weary, Pushed-to-the-Edge, New-Mother Soul by Karen Horneffer-Ginter, PhD

Wednesday's Pick (11/7) Travel Tuesdays: Writing and Reflecting by Michelle Cusolito

Tuesday's Pick (11/6) From Journal to Memoir: The Floorplan of Your Mind by Rita Jacobs, PhD

Monday's Pick (11/5) From Journal to Memoir: Capturing the Past through Sense Memory by Rita Jacobs, PhD

Friday's Pick (11/2) Just the Way You Are by Melanie Kindrachuk

Wednesday's Pick (10/31) A Journal Writing Prompt Blooms in My Garden by Ruth Folit

Tuesday's Pick (10/30) Want to Know Yourself Better? Ask Yourself These Questions by Gretchen Rubin

Monday's Pick (10/29) Moments Journal Writing Prompt by Karna Converse @LiteraryMama

Friday's Pick (10/26) Writing in My Journal by Carol Berg

Wednesday's Pick (10/24) Dealing with Fear This Halloween by Debra DiPietro

Tuesday's Pick (10/23) Journal Writing Ideas: Daily Gratitudes by Melissa Donovan

Monday's Pick (10/22) Art Journaling: No Rules by Leah Michon

Friday's Pick (10/19) How Writing Saved My Life by Amanda Duran

Wednesday's Pick (10/17) Make Journal Writing Therapy Your New Wake Up Call by Mari McCarthy

Tuesday's Pick (10/16) The Importance of Journaling by Ehen Akpan

Friday's Pick (10/12) Use Your Journal for Storytelling Practice by Amber Lea Starfire


Wednesday's Pick (10/10) 15 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Right Now by Amy Shearn


Tuesday's Pick (10/9) Feeling Like a Fraud? Fearlessly Embrace and Own All the Good! By Terri Cole

Monday's Pick (10/8) Journal Writing Therapy Playing Word Association by Mari McCarthy

Friday's Pick (10/5) A Weekend Wondering Exercise: What Will You Change? by Stacy Vajta

Tuesday's Pick (10/2) How to Get Past Fears That Stop You From Living Your Dreams by Dolly Garland


Tuesday's Pick (9/25) Writing in Your Dream Journal by Debra DiPietro

Monday's Pick (9/24) Letting Go by Sarah Richardson

Friday's Pick (9/21) A Weekend Wondering Exercise: Your Inner Critic by Stacy Vajta

Wednesday's Pick (9/19) What to do with the "E" word by Yvonne Root

Tuesday's Pick (9/18) What You See is What You Remember by Quinn McDonald

Monday's Pick (9/17) 16 Life Lessons Learned from Journaling by Dolly Garland

Friday's Pick (9/14) The Confusing Lines We Draw by Quinn McDonald

Wednesday's Pick (9/12) Do You Feel Guilty When You Don't Journal? by Dolly Garland

Tuesday's Pick (9/11) From Journal to Memoir: 8 Reasons to Keep a Journal by Rita D. Jacobs, PhD

Monday's Pick (9/10) Key Words: The Madeleines of Journal Writing by Joycelyn Campbell

Friday's Pick of the Day (9/7) How to Journal with Your Teen by Candy Gibbs


Tuesday's Pick (9/4) Wise Choices by Bruce Black

Friday's Pick (8/31) Journal Writing and Memoir: Using Your Journals for Research by Kat Collins

Wednesday's Pick (8/29) Journal Writing Shifts by Shannon

Tuesday's Pick (8/28) De-Clutter Your Cranium to Make Room for the Good Stuff by Terri Cole

Monday's Pick (8/27) One Journal for Everything or Separate Journals for Different Things? by Dolly Garland


Friday's Pick (8/24) Spark Your Self Acceptance with Three Small Questions by Rosie Molinary

Wednesday's Pick (8/22) Ahhh...Am I Really Ready for the Next Level?!?! by Molly Rider


Monday's Pick (8/20) Celebrating a Reached Goal by Quinn McDonald

Friday's Pick (8/17) Writing the Chapters of Your Life by Patti Testerman

Wednesday's Pick (8/15) Daily Creative Practice by Effy Wild

Tuesday's Pick (8/14) Warp Your Journal by Joel Basgall

Monday's Pick (8/13) When One Door Closes, Another Opens by Debra DiPietro

Friday's Pick (8/10) Re-Frame Your Fear of Failure by Terri Cole

Wednesday's Pick (8/8) 5 Ways to Develop Your Writing Style by Lisa Cherry

Tuesday's Pick (8/7) Journaling as a Coping Device by Kelley Harrell

Monday's Pick (8/6) Seeking Serenity: Journaling for Mindfulness by Bruce Black

Friday's Pick (8/3) Why I Gave Journaling Another Try by Leary Gates

Wednesday's Pick (8/1) How to Make Your Writing Pop and Shine by Jessica Morrow

Tuesday's Pick (7/31) Self-Confidence: What Is It, and Where Does It Come From by Dolly Garland

Monday's Pick (7/30) So I Will Write It All Down by Vivienne Borne

Friday's Pick (7/27) The Naked Writer by Laura M. Talley

Wednesday's Pick (7/25) The 5 Blessings of Keeping a Journal by Bruce Black

Tuesday's Pick (7/24) The Elevator Pitch the Write Way by Joanna Tebbs Young

Monday's Pick (7/23) Something Yours by Patty Froese

Friday's Pick (7/20) Journals and A Writing Exercise by Lauren B. Davis

Wednesday's Pick (7/18) Do You Have the Disease to Please? by Terri Cole

Tuesday's Pick (7/17) The 7 Benefits of Keeping a Daily Journal by Michael Hyatt

Monday's Pick (7/16) Jealousy: How to Work Through It by Quinn McDonald

Friday's Pick (7/13) What Are You Making Time for in Your Life? by Debra DiPietro

Wednesday's Pick (7/11) Journaling After Brain Injury by Barbara Stahura

Tuesday's Pick (7/10) 8 Ways Journaling Can Help Simplify Your Thoughts by Dolly Garland

Monday's Pick (7/9) I Create; Therefore I Am by Julie Flygare

Friday's Pick (7/6) Journal Writing with Children by Michelle

Monday's Pick (7/2) The Art of Journal Writing by Elizabeth Beck

Friday's Pick (6/29) Write for the Health of It: Five Reasons Why Writing is Good for Us by Debra DiPietro

Wednesday's Pick (6/27) Where is the Happy Happening? by Terri Cole






































































































Monday's Pick (12/26) Day 12: The Ritual to Get You Writing by Quinn McDonald


Tuesday's Pick (12/20) Journaling for Self-Discovery by Rosie Molinary

Friday's Pick (12/16) Journal Writing Prompt 31-Priorities by Dolly Garland

Monday's Pick (12/19) Keep a Dream Journal-Why Bother? by Patti Testerman

Today's #JournalChat Pick of the Day






















































Thursday's Pick (9/15) Journaling video by Will Steger









Thursday's Pick (9/1) A Challenge and Some Journalng Prompts by Amy Sorensen









Friday's Pick (8/19) Altars to Remember by Amanda



























(6/14): Journaling Your Travel with Book Journals

(6/13) Last Seen....Journaling

(6/10) Joy of Journal Writing

(6/9) Using Your Journal to Clear Your Clutter


(6/7) Personal Journaling Sure Beats a Bad Day

(6/6) 4 Journal Writing Prompts to Spark New Insights

(6/3) "What Oprah Knows For Sure"-#1

(6/2) Sharing Your Thank You and Love through Personal Journaling

(6/1) Kid Quotes are the Best

(5/31) Journaling-The Art of Deep Communication with the Self

(5/30) Spiral-Bound and Spellbound

(5/27) Dare to Dream

(5/26) What Lies Beneath

(5/25) Biggest Mistake Forgiven

(5/23) Journal Writing Your Wrong Ways

(5/20) Journaling Techniques for Writers with Tina M. Games

(5/18) Travel Journal For Kids

(5/17) Planning Ahead, Looking Back

(5/16) Journal Writing Prompt 21: Right Now

(5/13)Mind Your P's and Q's: Part V

(5/10) Art Journaling Prompt: Happiness

(5/09) Journaling with Photos

(5/6) MIA by Rachel with Pen to Paper

(5/5) How to Combine Reflective Writing with Meditation and Yoga

(5/4) Journaling

(5/3) A Week's Worth of Journaling Prompts: The Nature of Resistance

(5/2) Collages, Your Mom, and more

(4/29) Dear Diary: The 4 Payoffs from Writing a Work Journal

(4/28) Secrets Journaling Prompt

(4/27) The Miracle of Mindfulness

(4/26) Your Philosophy

(4/25) Journal Writing Basics: Ask How

(4/22) What Inspires You? What Excites You?

(4/21) Journal Writing Prompt 18: Busy Life/Stress/Responsibilities

(4/19) A Week's Worth of Journaling Prompts: Expanding Creativity


(4/15) Journal-Keeping: Tips and Ideas for Writers

(4/14) Mind Your P's and Q's: Part I

(4/13) Journal Writing Through Life's Passages: Moving

(4/12) Appreciate Journaling: Children Need to Write

(4/11) Journaling for Healing, Health, and Happiness
(4/7) Yellow Legal Pad

(4/6) Meet Brooke Snow! An Amazing Mom!

(3/30) Let the Left Brain Know What the Right Brain is Doing: An Interview with Dr. Lucia Capacchione

(3/28) Movies Journal Prompt

(3/25) The Power of Forgetting

(3/24) Ten Ways to Keep a Great Diary

(3/23) Journal to the Soul

(3/22) A Reflective Writing Honoring of Women's History Month

(3/21) A Week's Worth of Journaling Prompts: Vulnerability

(3/18) How Journaling Changed My Life: Receiving Journal Insight


(3/14) Let Them Play in the Backyard


(3/11) How to Keep a Journal When You Don't Ever Have Any Time

(3/10) Memories

(3/9) Journal Writing through Emotions: Disappointment

(3/8) Revolutionary Act 3: Reclaim Your Mornings

(3/7) 7 Reasons to Start a Journal

(3/4) "I Wish.."










































































































































































































































































































































Three Steps Toward Accountability...to Yourself (as published in SFC Newsletter, Dec 08 edition)

Accountability: to give a reckoning or explanation for one’s actions, responsible.

When most people think of accountability, they often negatively associate it with answering to others, such as a spouse, a friend, a mentor, or, in most cases, a boss. As a writer, you are your own boss, which is one of the reasons that you need to be accountable to yourself. And it can be a positive experience rather than a negative one.

The first step in being accountable to yourself as a writer is setting goals for your writing and keeping track of projects you want to finish. Incurring a deadline for yourself can help
motivate you in this area. This step can also include daily writing goals. Some authors plan how many words or pages per day they will write.
I’ve set goals for myself as a writer by making them reachable and attainable. This year I have set a goal to write at least one scene for my novel per week and at least one other piece,
whether it be memoir or essay, per week. That can mean just making notes, writing a first draft, or revising a draft.
As long as your goals keep you moving forward and you’re making progress, then you know you’re headed in the right direction.

Once you have your goals set, the next step in accountability to yourself is writing down what you accomplish each day. You can use a daily calendar just for writing or keep track of your
daily accomplishments on your computer. I designed a custom monthly writing calendar. It helps me track what I write daily, whether or not I’ve met my goal for the week, and it has
space for ideas for future writing pieces. I also have a spot to keep track of books I’m reading for that month. I use abbreviations to keep the daily writing easier and to save space. As I review each completed month, I can go back to see what I’ve accomplished and keep track of when I wrote each piece.
Whether you use something pre-made or customize something for yourself, use whatever works for you and helps you stay accountable to yourself.

A third, and perhaps most important, aspect in accountability in your writing is taking care of yourself as a writer. Than can mean giving yourself space and not being hard on yourself if
you don’t reach your goals each day or each week.
Flexibility and refreshment are paramount to your health as a writer. It also frees up your creativity and can actually help you produce more quality writing in the long run.
I enjoy writing in my journal, reading fiction or memoir, and watching a good movie with my family. Taking a walk, listening to music, talking with your family members, and just taking time to sit and enjoy life are all ways you can be good to
yourself—and ultimately accountable—as a writer.

Learn to celebrate your accomplishments and your uniqueness as a writer. That’s one of the best ways to be accountable—to yourself!